Monday, April 21, 2008
New Game Hailed as the Future of Sport
Although only preliminary details were released in a press conference at the Hotel Marriot in downtown San Jose yesterday, the Power Football League is being touted by many football fans as the future of the game.
The game, who's rules were roughly outlined by a powerpoint presentation, seems to be a hybrid cross between football, wrestling and basketball, although the wrestling element is just obnoxious fans and the basketball angle brings in scantily-clad cheerleaders. The game will be played with a smaller than normal football, one which will supposedly be able to be thrown greater distances, and the playoffs will culminate with a game that rewards, to the winner, some large sum of money, likely (akin to reality TV shows) a million dollars.
"Oh yeah, it sounds absolutely amazing", cried fan and former high school footballer, Thomas Jenkins, after sitting through the 5 hour long conference, which was actually more like a college pep rally. Streamers were fired off every 5 minutes, in-house fireworks were a centerpiece, and cheerleaders nearly stripped in between the aisles of reporters, future fans, and various semi-known members of local office.
Other new fans were just as, if not more excited: "I'm pumped, like I can't believe it's finally happening. We've needed a sport that combines hitting, running, and athletic expertise for years now. The nation's athletes have yearned for this! It's great, just the hype makes me want to get in shape! I bet I will!" Jack Bates, 30, Program Designer, remarked after the conference.
The success of the PFL is almost certain, as the formula is simple: cheerleaders, more black people, players equipped with microphones, and a rule whereby a wide receiver can be bodychecked at any time. Even critics say that it is likely that the PFL will soon compete with, and overtake the NFL and NBA.
The game, who's rules were roughly outlined by a powerpoint presentation, seems to be a hybrid cross between football, wrestling and basketball, although the wrestling element is just obnoxious fans and the basketball angle brings in scantily-clad cheerleaders. The game will be played with a smaller than normal football, one which will supposedly be able to be thrown greater distances, and the playoffs will culminate with a game that rewards, to the winner, some large sum of money, likely (akin to reality TV shows) a million dollars.
"Oh yeah, it sounds absolutely amazing", cried fan and former high school footballer, Thomas Jenkins, after sitting through the 5 hour long conference, which was actually more like a college pep rally. Streamers were fired off every 5 minutes, in-house fireworks were a centerpiece, and cheerleaders nearly stripped in between the aisles of reporters, future fans, and various semi-known members of local office.
Other new fans were just as, if not more excited: "I'm pumped, like I can't believe it's finally happening. We've needed a sport that combines hitting, running, and athletic expertise for years now. The nation's athletes have yearned for this! It's great, just the hype makes me want to get in shape! I bet I will!" Jack Bates, 30, Program Designer, remarked after the conference.
The success of the PFL is almost certain, as the formula is simple: cheerleaders, more black people, players equipped with microphones, and a rule whereby a wide receiver can be bodychecked at any time. Even critics say that it is likely that the PFL will soon compete with, and overtake the NFL and NBA.
