Politics of the Business

So I went through some old conversations over the past few days, most of it was redundant, but in the end i assembled these archives. Whilst going through this i found it necessary to --- some of the names here and there. Don't bitch if you know it's you because if you do you can bet your dumb ass that I'll be posting it.

Here are some of the strange, ridiculous, and most certainly, sexual things that are said over mess conversations.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
i have a tendency to put things off
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
i just finished my report on "la cavernale"
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
shittiest book ive ever read
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
i shit on the paper

Comments : Kudos to the Incredible Bulk for gaining the famed first spot. Start commenting here bud, or do we not bash you theory on cold fusion enough? I mean, it is a great theory, but did it have to be 441 pages long?

i once dabbled in pacifism, not in nam of course says:
he does have a penis you know
----- says:
i hadnt realized..
i once dabbled in pacifism, not in nam of course says:
i think ***** sucked it
----- says:
I see
----- says:
was that an attempt to change the conversation?

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
well i decided to waste a bit more of my life earlier and got a score of 104 helis on heli attack 2
If you lived here you'd be dead by now!-cemetary says:
meanwhile i was on a date...having a life....

the Barret Mcnally bluegrass experience says:
listen this leon does he have what we are looking for
CrazyJake says:
yeah
the Barret Mcnally bluegrass experience says:
crystal meth????
The One says:
AIDS?
CrazyJake says:
yeah he says he can get that
The One says:
A.I.D.S too?
CrazyJake says:
He says yeah
the Barret Mcnally bluegrass experience says:
we need xstacy
the Barret Mcnally bluegrass experience says:
and shome magic mushrooms for good measure
CrazyJake says:
Hes says he can get it im not sure if he can
The One says:
well ask him when he can drop it off
The One says:
how bout the harbor, cause we need a boat load of coke

Comments : This is part of the famed "drug conversation" between 'the One' (our made up "cyber-gang") and everybody's favorite "garran_25" aka some young kid in the states.

------ says:
yea i went to a movie
------ says:
so now i can break it off
------ says:
rigght?

A-Much-Better-Tomorrow says:
you need to leave something to the imagination
Look at him, he runs like a welshman, look at him doesnt he run like a welshman says:
theres everything
Look at him, he runs like a welshman, look at him doesnt he run like a welshman says:
u just dont see it
Look at him, he runs like a welshman, look at him doesnt he run like a welshman says:
cause u got no imagination
Look at him, he runs like a welshman, look at him doesnt he run like a welshman says:
but ur right
Look at him, he runs like a welshman, look at him doesnt he run like a welshman says:
it will get boring so fast my hat will spin

Comments : This one really should have been filed under the oximoron category seen below, yet isn't it amusing nonetheless, or is the don having trouble sleeping at night?

happy now Matt??? says:
o cool! Ag, my auntie just became an RCMP
If you lived here you'd be dead by now!-cemetary says:
my aunt kiled a baby
happy now Matt??? says:
wtf

Did U Know That LMNOP Isn't One Letter It's Like Seven Or Ten says:
k best name ever
----- says:
who mine??
Did U Know That LMNOP Isn't One Letter It's Like Seven Or Ten says:
no mine just look at it
----- says:
???
----- says:
its 5

Comments : True kudos.



Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
did you weigh yourdelf here?
If you lived here you'd be dead by now!-cemetary says:
yea i always do that at peoples houses
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
don't worry man
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:
it only varies by a couple pounds
If you lived here you'd be dead by now!-cemetary says:
i also went through your personal items and medicine
If you lived here you'd be dead by now!-cemetary says:
and jerked in your shampoo

Comments : I wonder if there's a long lost herbal essence commercial with O'Quickly starring. Or maybe I'm just thinking of his amateur hard core romp aka video project in grade 6!


Well, I thought it was long enough to end it here.
End transmission. (Insert distortion).

So I get home, and with nothing to do but sit around bored for awhile (this is like a pre-computer age) I picked up the latest issue of Maclean's which sat on my washstand. Let me explain.
Parents + Literacy = Maclean's
Got it? Great. So there I am, and the only real reason I picked the magazine up was because the headline was emblazoned across the front. Haha, no. After realising the obvious (see: headline statement) I read the headline. It was something about teens and the issues they grow up with.

OK let's reflect on what that really means.
It means that grown ups, namely the people who write Maclean's, are going to try to pierce the fabric of of socio-culture in order to understand some of the issues we're growing up around. Bullshit? Yes.
How is it that anyone who's now a parent hopes to be able to interpret everything someone, of a different generation mind you, is going through.
In order to understand this, I must say that the article had nothing to do with helping kids grow up. It was written in the format of a parent who wanted guidance on how to raise their child. But mostly on how to approach their kid in a way that would work. Congratulations. First I'm being told that these are the issues I'm facing, next my parents are being told how to approach them. Can anyone else see this flaw? Please.
I'm going to at least give the benefit of the doubt here and say that some of the solutions weren't too bad. Some things, like making marijuana and condoms readily available to the kids might just work. Interestingly enough, the quote statscan having found out that by age 15, 25% of teens have had "sexual intercourse". The fuck does that mean? "Sexual intercourse" is almost as vague as sexual activity. It wasn't even defined. It was merely a blurb on the sidebar having no real influence on anything. In fact, the whole article really seemed to flow that way; bordering on that edge of "waste of time" and slowly inching it's way towards "redundant in it's entirety".
Adolescence is not easy and having some asshole writer state it in a variety of ways isn't helping anything.

Another fine magazine just looking out for Canada's teens. Thanks guys.

(Not to be confused with Oxy-gen, and Oxy-gin, the poor man's air).

The following are a list of oxymorons uncovered with King Touthankhamon's body. (Or however it's spelt). Yes, I understand that most of these need to be read twice before they're understood. But you've just got to take into consideration that this blog is voot-vv-voot-voo out there...

- Oprah's book club member/Equal opportunity lover
- Technical engineer/Capitalist
- Carnie/Member of society
- Pornstar/Bearded lady
- Martial law practioner/love machine
- Shrill female attornist/success
- Veagan/N.R.A member
- Inbred/Governor of Georgia
- Regis Philbin/Not washed up
- Ultimate Fighting Cup champion/Tupperware party hostess

And now, a tribute to some of the best names ever.

- Gumby
- Jethro Tull
- Gino Marc Tull
- PETA
- Monday Monkey
- Rock Manana
- the Duck Tank
- the Heated Pillow
- Friday
- Run R.C.M.P (Run Spock Run)

and finally, Bay of the Devastation.

~Adriana~says:

whos this kid that matt added in

Excuse me? How? How you ask? He's a fucking conquistador lady!

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
barret mcnally

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
professional hitman/black comedian

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
k?

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
comprende?

Carr speaks fluent espanglish

~Adriana~ says:
yes yes

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
you better

~Adriana~says:
lol

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
no im serious

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
no joke

~Adriana~says:
ok.....well I get it

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
no you dont

~Adriana~says:
we know hes not a hitman but w.e.

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
dont fuck with him

~Adriana~says:
are you being serious?

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
im dead serious.

~Adriana~says:
there you go telling me what I do and don't believe/ understand/know....ladeda

Monkey gone to heaven. says:
just dont fuck with him and if you ever meet him dont make direct eye contact

Carr never posts, so I thought I would take the liberty of showing what he's busy doing when he's not complaining about "not having any inspiration".

Let me tell you something buddy : I just wrote 100 words on "oven-bird", and you're telling me you don't have inspiration?

Anyways, almost forgot about this site.
In between buying weapons grade plutonium and searching for Beatles's autographs on Ebay time restraints on my internet schedule are everywhere. I mean sure, the pay stinks but,... No the pay just stinks.

However, like I was saying the word of the day and possibly the week and most likely the year because I never plan on having an update here, is : Oven-Bird.

Yes, our favorite fan, (refer to every comment ever posted), decided he would pitch out the first ever comment of the week. So if that lazy bastard doesn't bother to ever pick another, the blazing trail set by oven-bird will, sadly, never live on.

What does it mean exactly? Who will ever know. Who's to say he's not a genius? Remember how Einstein had bad grades? Well our fan-o numero uno's are even worse! Yes, although oven-bird may sound stupid to the untrained ear there are certain aspects that are worth elaborating. After all, is it a bird? Or is it an oven? Who knows? Maybe it's a bird designated to one task, one goal in life, one, one, one... task : to serve the oven? Sieg Heil!

Wow, I don't think I've ever been so close to breaching the boundaries of that field a block from my house marked off by signs that say, "CAUTION PHILOSOPHY : Do Not Enter".


Have a lucky 13th everybody.


UPDATE

I was recently informed that
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

i am the anti christ will you be my wife (oh valentines day) says:
oven-bird

Ovenbird \Ov"en*bird`\, n. (Zo["o]l.) Any species of the genus Furnarius, allied to the creepers. They inhabit South America and the West Indies, and construct curious oven-shaped nests. In the United States, Seiurus aurocapillus; -- called also golden-crowned thrush. In England, sometimes applied to the willow warbler, and to the long-tailed titmouse.

I guess there is nothing left to say other than that my buddy has too much time on his hand.

This text was edited for typos. Burn.

The idea here is that I never had this published last year for our journal thing that the grade 8's were doing and since I'm the man around here and I can do pretty much whatever I want, I figured I would post this.

Yes, it is in french, and no I'm not about to translate it for those of us who aren't french speaking.

And for those of us who are : Yes I know the writing is poor, but mind you this was still grade 8 and I think everyone who experienced that year can safely say they learnt nothing.

À quoi sert un slogan ?

L’éditorial du troisième numéro.

Il y a quelques semaines maintenant depuis qu’un article publié dans le Edmonton Journal a causé un vague de lettres provenant des lecteurs et lectrices fâchés. Le journaliste a donné son opinion sévère sur le slogan « ville des champions » dans un article pas mal court mais assez provocateur pour que la rédactrice elle même a donné aux lecteurs le défi de trouver un remplaçant. Les suggestions sont devenues un bombardement d’idées destinées à la rédactrice qui, pour la plupart, les ont publiées la semaine d’après sous le titre- « À quoi sert un slogan ? »
Le problème est que la ville d’Edmonton se prépare à nommer un comité pour remplacer le dicton « Ville des champions » avec quelque chose d’autre qui sera choisi par ce groupe. Selon moi, l’idée idéale est de toujours employer les expressions argotiques qui sont utilisées par les habitants. La « cowtown » en Alberta et la « cabbage town » du sud d’Ontario sont des exemples parfaits. Ces deux villes, le Calgary et le Toronto, ont reçu leurs sobriquets d’après leurs histoire et industries. À Calgary il y a plusieurs fermes qui entourent la métropole. À cause de cela, plusieurs habitants ont surnommé la ville d’après l’industrie de l’agriculture. Le Toronto a acquit son slogan argotique d’une manière semblable. Durant les vagues d’immigration, c’était là ou un grand nombre de pauvres Irlandais se sont installés. Durant les années de famine ils n’ont pu acheter que des choux. Les familles ont inventé beaucoup de différentes méthodes de préparations pour ce légume essentiel à la vie, qui, à son tour, prendra l’occasion de devenir partie du slogan de la ville.
Même si ces expressions ont pris du temps à se manifester, elles sont les plus mémorables. Alors gardons le slogan d’Edmonton tel qu’il est et attendons jusqu’au moment qu’un autre développe. Ce qui est inventé par un comité ne sert à rien.


12/03/03
Français 8

All quiet on the Western Front this morning as the majority of my class was asleep at the switch. Although we did write our social final 3rd period, which proved to be such an irrelevant mish-mash (a pot pourri really) of every chapter randomly pasted together that I couldn't even tell you what it was on.

Regardless, I do have some pleasant news for everybody today. And that is that Blogger got back to me on the little problem of scrolling down the entire page and my buddy (Graham, I think it was) at tech support swapped some scripts on the page and now it seems to be working well. Although he did confirm what I talked about briefly at the start of January : The problem lies in the Internet Explorer software and not Blogger's templates. Oh and yes, there is a new patch out for Ie6 service pack 1, which should be picked up by your windows update software. If not, better go here and make sure you are up to date anyways.