Saturday, January 31, 2004
Quiet Storm
So I'm in blockbuster yesterday blowing off some of those giftcards you get for x-mas on candy and a few classics. The Full Monty, Big Lebowski, Office Space and Bordello of Blood. (No not actually). And I'm looking at the shelves wondering what I feel like watching when I make the mistake of glancing around the store. Oh Man. Rookie mistake Milhouse. I look around and bam! It hits me like a two by four in a dimly lit hallway. It hits me like an h2 lumbering down whyte while I cross on the "don't walk" light. It hits... sorry. Ok I was hit with the inspiration of the blog and I swear to God I wish I owned a voice recorder right then and there to describe the people I found around me. The same people who you can find at every movie store, on any given friday night.
That guy who just doesn't leave.
He's the tall white guy with an oversized Gore-Tex coat on. You notice him when you walk in, and you notice him as you walk out. He's there the entire time you're picking up your movies and he lumbers around the aisles looking at every detail in the ceiling. No crack goes unnoticed under his developed glare. Occasionally, he can also be seen rooting through the discount bins of previously viewed vhs tapes and dvds. He has no intention of buying anything, but you do get the impression that he's a touchy-feely kind of guy. He's got the "hands on" personality and is probably working the trades. This is the guy who will never succeed in finding what he "came in for".
That guy who just won't move.
This guy is quite possibly less polite than the nerd clerk who lords his knowledge of all things "system" over you when you ask a simple question. This is the bulky guy, who periodically makes his appearance in a seemingly female form, who will stare at the wall of movies blissfully unaware of your presence. It's either he doesn't care enough to shove his ass, or he's just renowned as being an asshole amongst his few friends and feels he needs to radiate it. You walk up with the hopes of passing him in those tiny aisles but he won't budge. He won't even look at you or aknowledge your presence with a low burp. The kind that erupts directly from your belly after a few colts early on saturday morning. The guy just stands there, and you have no hope of getting by. So, you decide to ask politely if he can stand aside. He does so, but not without a sigh of extreme difficulty. He feels like you just mugged him and fucked his father's asshole all on the same wednesday's evening. Venue : let's say... streets of New York and/or Compton.
The female nerd clerk.
It's unvarying. You'll almost always get her as your clerk and her breathing problems will make it difficult for you to hear what she has to say about your "membership". Hopefully it's nothing bad. I hear that they send the BlockCops after "frequent offenders". This is also the girl who tries to upsell you into things you don't want/need. Things like an extra movie, because it would only be .99$ more. Unfortunately, it works and you go grab the first pile of shit you see and don't end up watching it, return it late and when you come in to pay the late fee guess who's till your headed to? That's right. Weeezee Weeezzzzee.
The guy with a crew cut.
This one is less obvious and requires some elaboration. This guy could be a vietvet for all we know. Thus the crew cut, strange vein popping out of his forehead, and ak-47 on hand. He needs no second thoughts before drawing a hand gun as the door clicks shut. He wheels around at an alarming rate yelling things like "Hill 365!" and (roughly translated from english) "Escht crecht byir finfed". He dives behind the counter as he cocks the loader and swipes a members card. In the end it's all for show of course, and to bring the boys home.
The guy with a braid/pony tail/mullet/skullet/chinese mullet
This is the guy who is generally covered in an oily cologne, probably English Leather. (we're talking a hefty 16$ a bottle). Most of the time this sickly excuse for a human being will be found trailing you around the store. You'll find him hawking you from behind "Drama" as you look in "Action". When he gathers enough courage he'll stroll over to you as you browse in piece and ask loudly. "Can I help you find anything?". Your eardrums boom and it takes a few minutes before you fully recover from your short seizure. You answer him with a polite "no" and moments later, after he's walked around the store once, he comes back. He sidles up to you and you feel his leathery breath slide down your throat. Your hairs rise. And he asks in his hoarse, whiny voice, "Can I help you find anything?". Amazingly enough, you answer with a polite "no". And so we dance.
The posse of nerds
These are the guys who stand behind you in line and rave about how cool it was to have Tron on Betamax. These are the guys who stand behind you and talk really loudly as they try their hardest to sound cool. From time to time the conversation topic between them (there are usually two or more) ranges from which type of candy is the best, to which brand of cables are best to hook up your ps2. You can guarantee that they will also pepper the conversation with which supermodel needs breast implants and how the weather is at any skatepark in california. This leads back to a conversation about video games. Last night, this group, although there was only two, divulged in a heated conversation about how much punishment their blockbuster cards could take. One reasoned that, "But dude, what would happen? 'Cause come on, what are they gonna do? What, man, what? Because without a card, what are they gonna do?" The second countered with his two-cents. "Yeah bro". Strange to us, but nonetheless it was a point strong enough to make the first continue. "Cause like I'm walking down whyte being thrown into lightpoles and stuff, man. I wonder how much pain it can take!"These quotes are left unchanged. I have no idea why he used the word "pain".
In the spirit of the essay : In conclusion, Fuck the essay format. Blockbuster is a socially inept pothole just waiting for you to get stuck in.
That guy who just doesn't leave.
He's the tall white guy with an oversized Gore-Tex coat on. You notice him when you walk in, and you notice him as you walk out. He's there the entire time you're picking up your movies and he lumbers around the aisles looking at every detail in the ceiling. No crack goes unnoticed under his developed glare. Occasionally, he can also be seen rooting through the discount bins of previously viewed vhs tapes and dvds. He has no intention of buying anything, but you do get the impression that he's a touchy-feely kind of guy. He's got the "hands on" personality and is probably working the trades. This is the guy who will never succeed in finding what he "came in for".
That guy who just won't move.
This guy is quite possibly less polite than the nerd clerk who lords his knowledge of all things "system" over you when you ask a simple question. This is the bulky guy, who periodically makes his appearance in a seemingly female form, who will stare at the wall of movies blissfully unaware of your presence. It's either he doesn't care enough to shove his ass, or he's just renowned as being an asshole amongst his few friends and feels he needs to radiate it. You walk up with the hopes of passing him in those tiny aisles but he won't budge. He won't even look at you or aknowledge your presence with a low burp. The kind that erupts directly from your belly after a few colts early on saturday morning. The guy just stands there, and you have no hope of getting by. So, you decide to ask politely if he can stand aside. He does so, but not without a sigh of extreme difficulty. He feels like you just mugged him and fucked his father's asshole all on the same wednesday's evening. Venue : let's say... streets of New York and/or Compton.
The female nerd clerk.
It's unvarying. You'll almost always get her as your clerk and her breathing problems will make it difficult for you to hear what she has to say about your "membership". Hopefully it's nothing bad. I hear that they send the BlockCops after "frequent offenders". This is also the girl who tries to upsell you into things you don't want/need. Things like an extra movie, because it would only be .99$ more. Unfortunately, it works and you go grab the first pile of shit you see and don't end up watching it, return it late and when you come in to pay the late fee guess who's till your headed to? That's right. Weeezee Weeezzzzee.
The guy with a crew cut.
This one is less obvious and requires some elaboration. This guy could be a vietvet for all we know. Thus the crew cut, strange vein popping out of his forehead, and ak-47 on hand. He needs no second thoughts before drawing a hand gun as the door clicks shut. He wheels around at an alarming rate yelling things like "Hill 365!" and (roughly translated from english) "Escht crecht byir finfed". He dives behind the counter as he cocks the loader and swipes a members card. In the end it's all for show of course, and to bring the boys home.
The guy with a braid/pony tail/mullet/skullet/chinese mullet
This is the guy who is generally covered in an oily cologne, probably English Leather. (we're talking a hefty 16$ a bottle). Most of the time this sickly excuse for a human being will be found trailing you around the store. You'll find him hawking you from behind "Drama" as you look in "Action". When he gathers enough courage he'll stroll over to you as you browse in piece and ask loudly. "Can I help you find anything?". Your eardrums boom and it takes a few minutes before you fully recover from your short seizure. You answer him with a polite "no" and moments later, after he's walked around the store once, he comes back. He sidles up to you and you feel his leathery breath slide down your throat. Your hairs rise. And he asks in his hoarse, whiny voice, "Can I help you find anything?". Amazingly enough, you answer with a polite "no". And so we dance.
The posse of nerds
These are the guys who stand behind you in line and rave about how cool it was to have Tron on Betamax. These are the guys who stand behind you and talk really loudly as they try their hardest to sound cool. From time to time the conversation topic between them (there are usually two or more) ranges from which type of candy is the best, to which brand of cables are best to hook up your ps2. You can guarantee that they will also pepper the conversation with which supermodel needs breast implants and how the weather is at any skatepark in california. This leads back to a conversation about video games. Last night, this group, although there was only two, divulged in a heated conversation about how much punishment their blockbuster cards could take. One reasoned that, "But dude, what would happen? 'Cause come on, what are they gonna do? What, man, what? Because without a card, what are they gonna do?" The second countered with his two-cents. "Yeah bro". Strange to us, but nonetheless it was a point strong enough to make the first continue. "Cause like I'm walking down whyte being thrown into lightpoles and stuff, man. I wonder how much pain it can take!"These quotes are left unchanged. I have no idea why he used the word "pain".
In the spirit of the essay : In conclusion, Fuck the essay format. Blockbuster is a socially inept pothole just waiting for you to get stuck in.
Keeping the Faith
Well here we are at the end of January, about to start February, which always feels to me like the longest month ever. Even thought it's always the shortest. Unfortunately a number of reasons contribute to February being shit. First of all, for as long as I can remember, all of my Februaries have been flogged with too much homework and not enough snowboarding. You can be assured that the weather will remain crappy for another month and you won't get a chance to see much of the sun until March. Otherwise, between too much work and not enough daylight, yeah I guess you could say that some things get done around now. Unfortunately at school nothing worthwhile will be changed.
As happy as this all sounds, I can certainly say that today and yesterday I spent my free moments updating the site.
You'll now find a new section with downloads. But I'm not joking when I say that you should be careful with some of them. Kazaa lite k++ is no longer legal, and no matter what you hear, I don't think it will ever become legal either. Another downside is that you need the version specified on the sidebar. Don't be fooled by any others. (If you're not running XpSp1, you're on your own, sorry). The upside is that that's the version I'm using and it's spyware free. Also, make sure you get the KL extensions by rocco along with your download. That site should do it for you, unfortunately it's in German. It's not complicated though. Just scroll to the "download von kazaa lite" hyperlink. As for the other links, Limewire is excellent shareware, but contrary to what they say, it's not really any faster than kazaa lite depending on your connection and provider. It also costs a small fee. I'm also not sure if it's been legalised yet. The scramble for permits is on. If you don't know what WSFTP is don't bother downloading it. Adaware is free and great. Everyone needs it. It picks up spyware on your machine. Seriously, download it. Oh, and the JVM is for Xp computers that didn't come with the microsystem. At the time of Xp's release, Microsoft was fighting with Sun (the java company) and didn't pack the computers with it. You need it for a variety of reasons. Read the site first though. Let's not forget Mess 4.7, the best messaging client for windows. If not, yes I know IRC is better. But as far as messaging on windows goes, 6.1 is designed for people who want graphic heavy everything. Ugh. More to come in this section too.
And Tori, I'll write something more creative (aka funny for someone like you - and yes I already have an inspiration) later tonight. But you're going to have to promise me that the rabbit will always win. Because we know he's the faster one. Possibly faster than Bon Jovi... Hmm...
As happy as this all sounds, I can certainly say that today and yesterday I spent my free moments updating the site.
You'll now find a new section with downloads. But I'm not joking when I say that you should be careful with some of them. Kazaa lite k++ is no longer legal, and no matter what you hear, I don't think it will ever become legal either. Another downside is that you need the version specified on the sidebar. Don't be fooled by any others. (If you're not running XpSp1, you're on your own, sorry). The upside is that that's the version I'm using and it's spyware free. Also, make sure you get the KL extensions by rocco along with your download. That site should do it for you, unfortunately it's in German. It's not complicated though. Just scroll to the "download von kazaa lite" hyperlink. As for the other links, Limewire is excellent shareware, but contrary to what they say, it's not really any faster than kazaa lite depending on your connection and provider. It also costs a small fee. I'm also not sure if it's been legalised yet. The scramble for permits is on. If you don't know what WSFTP is don't bother downloading it. Adaware is free and great. Everyone needs it. It picks up spyware on your machine. Seriously, download it. Oh, and the JVM is for Xp computers that didn't come with the microsystem. At the time of Xp's release, Microsoft was fighting with Sun (the java company) and didn't pack the computers with it. You need it for a variety of reasons. Read the site first though. Let's not forget Mess 4.7, the best messaging client for windows. If not, yes I know IRC is better. But as far as messaging on windows goes, 6.1 is designed for people who want graphic heavy everything. Ugh. More to come in this section too.
And Tori, I'll write something more creative (aka funny for someone like you - and yes I already have an inspiration) later tonight. But you're going to have to promise me that the rabbit will always win. Because we know he's the faster one. Possibly faster than Bon Jovi... Hmm...
Working with regedit
Even thought it's obvious that we here at politics do not condone such rash behavior as say, learning to take power away from your parents, sometimes you have to beat the system. I was looking through some of my old favorites last night and came across this guy's page and this link i had bookmarked back when in the day. I remember this was from when Aidan needed to get online without knowing his dad's password. Anyways, it's easy to do if your parents have set you in a lockdown situation where you need a password to get online.
Follow these steps and you can, in turn set your own password so your parents can't get on, making it look like they've forgotten it. Hell, if they're senile, it just might work.
One : Start Regedit. Do so by hitting start, then run. Type in "regedit.exe"
Two : Go to "H_KEY_LOCAL_MACHINE/Software/Microsoft/Windows/Current Version/Policies/Ratings"
Three : Delete the entry called "Key"
Here is another great way to beat the system. Let's say you want to bookmark pages but not have your parents see them. You can easily hide these URLs. Watch.
One : Start Regedit
Two : Go to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINES / Software / Microsoft / InternetExplorer / AboutURLs
Three : Add String Values with the shortcut name you want to use
Four : Give them the value of the URL you want the shortcut to go to
Five : Then from Internet Explorer, type about:shortcut_name
And now, one more thing I think everybody should know. You can locate your history folder from your desktop without opening the browser. Note : I don't know if this works for anything below IE5, I haven't used it on any other browsers either, but I figure it's obvious it won't).
One : Right-click on an open area of the desktop
Two : Select "New / Folder"
Three : Type the name, as shown: History.{FF393560-C2A7-11CF-BFF4-444553540000}
Four : The icon will be replaced by the History icon
Thanks to this guy
And finally a word of warning : Don't actually edit your registry unless you know what you're doing/can read english.
Follow these steps and you can, in turn set your own password so your parents can't get on, making it look like they've forgotten it. Hell, if they're senile, it just might work.
One : Start Regedit. Do so by hitting start, then run. Type in "regedit.exe"
Two : Go to "H_KEY_LOCAL_MACHINE/Software/Microsoft/Windows/Current Version/Policies/Ratings"
Three : Delete the entry called "Key"
Here is another great way to beat the system. Let's say you want to bookmark pages but not have your parents see them. You can easily hide these URLs. Watch.
One : Start Regedit
Two : Go to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINES / Software / Microsoft / InternetExplorer / AboutURLs
Three : Add String Values with the shortcut name you want to use
Four : Give them the value of the URL you want the shortcut to go to
Five : Then from Internet Explorer, type about:shortcut_name
And now, one more thing I think everybody should know. You can locate your history folder from your desktop without opening the browser. Note : I don't know if this works for anything below IE5, I haven't used it on any other browsers either, but I figure it's obvious it won't).
One : Right-click on an open area of the desktop
Two : Select "New / Folder"
Three : Type the name, as shown: History.{FF393560-C2A7-11CF-BFF4-444553540000}
Four : The icon will be replaced by the History icon
Thanks to this guy
And finally a word of warning : Don't actually edit your registry unless you know what you're doing/can read english.
Friday, January 30, 2004
Captain Crap
I regret knowing that my (former) friend is playing Captain Claw.
a cruce salus says:
barret did you know that ur tasteless?
a cruce salus says:
like rice pudding
robot food says:
lol
a cruce salus says:
i regret ever trying you
robot food says:
lol
robot food says:
well im gonna play some captain claw
a cruce salus says:
no, youre not
robot food says:
yeah i am
robot food says:
i love that game
a cruce salus says:
no, you're not
a cruce salus says:
its like 1992 man
robot food says:
i know
a cruce salus says:
well no
robot food says:
actually 95
a cruce salus says:
its so generic
robot food says:
i know its hard though
robot food says:
im gonna beat it too
a cruce salus says:
good luck in your fantasy world
It is possibly the worst game ever written for the PC. Now, if I remember correctly it was not nearly as cool as Rambo on Genesis or Command & Conquer (yes the original) on PC. But Rambo had it's flaws too : his partner never got the fire arrows. Yes, believe it or not, there are even injustices in the video game world.
What happened to the classic first person shooter where everything blew up and nobody could live past the second level?
What happened to the days of parents needing to censor games because of an atrocious amount of gore, violence and sexual content?
What happened to the homegrown US of A gaming titles that gamers and geeks alike (not actually the same sub-genre people, learn your losers) flocked to the shelves of the nearest Wal-Mart to reserve three years in advance to receive the promotional poster. Where, in fine print, it would clearly state that the poster was no bigger than the pornos their moms found in their pleather wallets earlier that day. I miss the good old days, where a first person shooter taught the values of the hard earned dollar and how to narrowly avoid everything life could possibly (and unpossibly) throw your way.
Also, I'd appreciate some credit for the clever and witty title.
I'm all man.
a cruce salus says:
barret did you know that ur tasteless?
a cruce salus says:
like rice pudding
robot food says:
lol
a cruce salus says:
i regret ever trying you
robot food says:
lol
robot food says:
well im gonna play some captain claw
a cruce salus says:
no, youre not
robot food says:
yeah i am
robot food says:
i love that game
a cruce salus says:
no, you're not
a cruce salus says:
its like 1992 man
robot food says:
i know
a cruce salus says:
well no
robot food says:
actually 95
a cruce salus says:
its so generic
robot food says:
i know its hard though
robot food says:
im gonna beat it too
a cruce salus says:
good luck in your fantasy world
It is possibly the worst game ever written for the PC. Now, if I remember correctly it was not nearly as cool as Rambo on Genesis or Command & Conquer (yes the original) on PC. But Rambo had it's flaws too : his partner never got the fire arrows. Yes, believe it or not, there are even injustices in the video game world.
What happened to the classic first person shooter where everything blew up and nobody could live past the second level?
What happened to the days of parents needing to censor games because of an atrocious amount of gore, violence and sexual content?
What happened to the homegrown US of A gaming titles that gamers and geeks alike (not actually the same sub-genre people, learn your losers) flocked to the shelves of the nearest Wal-Mart to reserve three years in advance to receive the promotional poster. Where, in fine print, it would clearly state that the poster was no bigger than the pornos their moms found in their pleather wallets earlier that day. I miss the good old days, where a first person shooter taught the values of the hard earned dollar and how to narrowly avoid everything life could possibly (and unpossibly) throw your way.
Also, I'd appreciate some credit for the clever and witty title.
I'm all man.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
On the Horn.
My dad's publisher called earlier today while my dad was teaching at GMC. He's quite the eccentric guy and he had a few jokes I thought are probably worth sharing. After all, who doesn't need a laugh as they toil through a page of useless science homework, or perhaps a cup of rotten english tea?
Likewise, I answer the phone and right off the bat he says, "I'm the guy whos makes your dad famous". Of course by that time he HAD shown the forsight to introduce himself but I figured I was being set up for an interesting communique. Anyhow, I tell him that that guy named dad who sometimes hangs around my place isn't home and his reply is rather profuse, "Oh, well he must be either teaching or at his parole hearing, so I'll just give him an email". Let's face it, I was tired and didn't really understand that joke. He was probably sweating on the other line, but I promised myself I wouldn't take any cheap shots in this article.
mhmm.
That's why it ends here.
Likewise, I answer the phone and right off the bat he says, "I'm the guy whos makes your dad famous". Of course by that time he HAD shown the forsight to introduce himself but I figured I was being set up for an interesting communique. Anyhow, I tell him that that guy named dad who sometimes hangs around my place isn't home and his reply is rather profuse, "Oh, well he must be either teaching or at his parole hearing, so I'll just give him an email". Let's face it, I was tired and didn't really understand that joke. He was probably sweating on the other line, but I promised myself I wouldn't take any cheap shots in this article.
mhmm.
That's why it ends here.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Hi Rob...
Hi Rob
It seems that when I visit your wonderful site I'm confronted with quite the problem.
Forbidden
You don't have permission to access / on this server.
Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apache/1.3.28 Server at www.robmatherly.com Port 80
You've Blocked Me!
Oh no Rob, you have it all wrong! I never wanted any trouble! I just wanted to read your ridiculous posts on all thing non-existent, existential, and massively blown out of proportion. Oh and I was interested in that male porn segment you were running. Yeah that Mongo guy, he has amazing pecks, and that carrot up the ass thing you were preaching, that sounded rank man! I have no doubt it would have sold big numbers bud. I hear you projected higher sales than Orgazmo AND Flesh Gordon combined. No doubt you're familiar with these soft core romps. After all, you are a middle aged, beer drinking, pot smokie, emo wearing yuppy.
If you have any sense left in you, you'll realise that the traffic you've been getting is actually all from our site. Your 3 usual readers realised that you were a dumbass along time ago. If you have any balls left in your tight black leather pants you'll email us and apologize for everything. Either that or you'll email us to prove your a man and then we'll just shame you like we've done in the past. No matter what, thanks for becoming our enemy!
Keep up the good work asshole!
It seems that when I visit your wonderful site I'm confronted with quite the problem.
Forbidden
You don't have permission to access / on this server.
Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apache/1.3.28 Server at www.robmatherly.com Port 80
You've Blocked Me!
Oh no Rob, you have it all wrong! I never wanted any trouble! I just wanted to read your ridiculous posts on all thing non-existent, existential, and massively blown out of proportion. Oh and I was interested in that male porn segment you were running. Yeah that Mongo guy, he has amazing pecks, and that carrot up the ass thing you were preaching, that sounded rank man! I have no doubt it would have sold big numbers bud. I hear you projected higher sales than Orgazmo AND Flesh Gordon combined. No doubt you're familiar with these soft core romps. After all, you are a middle aged, beer drinking, pot smokie, emo wearing yuppy.
If you have any sense left in you, you'll realise that the traffic you've been getting is actually all from our site. Your 3 usual readers realised that you were a dumbass along time ago. If you have any balls left in your tight black leather pants you'll email us and apologize for everything. Either that or you'll email us to prove your a man and then we'll just shame you like we've done in the past. No matter what, thanks for becoming our enemy!
Keep up the good work asshole!
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Beware... The Lair of Confusion Retaliates!
In a largish nutshell, Rob, from the Lair of Confusion, decided it would be juvenile to post a retaliation to our signing of his guestbook. (Note : he had a total of 4 entries - including ours).
Rob's retaliation is pretty simplistic. It labels him as left-wing extremist bent on ruining our beautiful free society. Note to Rob : nowhere do you actually state this, but instead we decided to draw a ridiculous conclusion. (See - your style of writing).
We here at politics would like to give you a hand, Sir Rob. After revealing vegemite's dynamic IP, from behind their firewall, which will mask their real IP anyways, you've accomplished a lot. Or do you not think that any i-d-i-o-t can learn how to use Symantec software? I guess what you probably were hoping to do by posting a hotmail address on your site was to have the poor kid email you back saying shit like, "Oh Great One, how could I have been so naif? You are truly a literary master and I am but a nobody". Good work, because contrary to your midnight fantasies, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush aren't about to polish your asshole. Or if you're somebody who wants to look cool in the eyes of the younger generation you might use a word like... say... i don't know... Corn Chute?
I like how you thought that by revealing an IP, you would send us packing. But did it ever occur to you that by revealing yourself in a topless picture, your underground male porn ring might be busted?
This brings me to our next problem. Why is it that if I had a complaint with your site, I would need to ask for "Heywood Jablowmi"? You lost me, Rob. As much as I love giving great feedback on your site : You lost me.
Why would I ask you for head if I didn't like your site? You already made it clear that you find no fault in anal sex, but you just insisted on taking it one step further, didn't you? Asking for oral sex online, and obviously, it was a good idea at the time because clearly any i-d-i-o-t can see that nobody would like your site. So tell me, how does this lead to performing oral sex on your visitors?
I would have emailed this to you, but I fear you're familiar with learning how to track somebody's messages through hotmail, which would, in turn, lead to a fake IP.
Rob's retaliation is pretty simplistic. It labels him as left-wing extremist bent on ruining our beautiful free society. Note to Rob : nowhere do you actually state this, but instead we decided to draw a ridiculous conclusion. (See - your style of writing).
We here at politics would like to give you a hand, Sir Rob. After revealing vegemite's dynamic IP, from behind their firewall, which will mask their real IP anyways, you've accomplished a lot. Or do you not think that any i-d-i-o-t can learn how to use Symantec software? I guess what you probably were hoping to do by posting a hotmail address on your site was to have the poor kid email you back saying shit like, "Oh Great One, how could I have been so naif? You are truly a literary master and I am but a nobody". Good work, because contrary to your midnight fantasies, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush aren't about to polish your asshole. Or if you're somebody who wants to look cool in the eyes of the younger generation you might use a word like... say... i don't know... Corn Chute?
I like how you thought that by revealing an IP, you would send us packing. But did it ever occur to you that by revealing yourself in a topless picture, your underground male porn ring might be busted?
This brings me to our next problem. Why is it that if I had a complaint with your site, I would need to ask for "Heywood Jablowmi"? You lost me, Rob. As much as I love giving great feedback on your site : You lost me.
Why would I ask you for head if I didn't like your site? You already made it clear that you find no fault in anal sex, but you just insisted on taking it one step further, didn't you? Asking for oral sex online, and obviously, it was a good idea at the time because clearly any i-d-i-o-t can see that nobody would like your site. So tell me, how does this lead to performing oral sex on your visitors?
I would have emailed this to you, but I fear you're familiar with learning how to track somebody's messages through hotmail, which would, in turn, lead to a fake IP.
Recent Events...
A bite of the news for you now,
The latest post, entitled "You Really Write Good" proved too left-winged for some readers.
Interested in a bit of reading?Mail us
Today in History :
Pan flutist Zamfir officially irritates ten hundredth listener.
The latest post, entitled "You Really Write Good" proved too left-winged for some readers.
Interested in a bit of reading?
Today in History :
Pan flutist Zamfir officially irritates ten hundredth listener.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Behold... The Lair of Confusion!
How cool is a blog named the "Lair of Confusion"? So cool. I mean, I wish I could master the "Lair of Confusion" because between having a real girlfriend and getting a real education, I guess I just don't have all that much to aspire for.
Visit the "Lair" and tell my buddy Rob just how cool he really is.
As for those new beer commercials where the white guy decides to drink Lite beer, with less carbs: They're bullshit.
The less carbs these guys think they're drinking, the more they're going to drink.
Less carbs means more problems.
Visit the "Lair" and tell my buddy Rob just how cool he really is.
As for those new beer commercials where the white guy decides to drink Lite beer, with less carbs: They're bullshit.
The less carbs these guys think they're drinking, the more they're going to drink.
Less carbs means more problems.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
6 Feet Deep
So... hi...
You're still here...
Umm, yeah sorry about this but we're not really doing this anymore.
So uh, go home.
This is for informational use only, man.
Feel free to use the new link to Zombocom A special thanks to that loser who told me about the site. You know who you are. Oh, and I'm not serious anyways.
But seriously, if you haven't been to zombocom yet, you need to be there. It's where all the cool kids hang out and look cool. In brief, zombocom is cool because you can do anything you want there. The only limit is yourself. That's cool.
So yeah, zombocom earns the title of cool.
Otherwise... Sports Med - Now there's a subject that shouldn't be taught in school. Have fun memorizing your ligaments kids.
You're still here...
Umm, yeah sorry about this but we're not really doing this anymore.
So uh, go home.
This is for informational use only, man.
Feel free to use the new link to Zombocom A special thanks to that loser who told me about the site. You know who you are. Oh, and I'm not serious anyways.
But seriously, if you haven't been to zombocom yet, you need to be there. It's where all the cool kids hang out and look cool. In brief, zombocom is cool because you can do anything you want there. The only limit is yourself. That's cool.
So yeah, zombocom earns the title of cool.
Otherwise... Sports Med - Now there's a subject that shouldn't be taught in school. Have fun memorizing your ligaments kids.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
12 year olds mackin' at valley... What is the world coming to?
Yes, as the title suggests, I heard from my friend that a 12 year old was making out at snow valley last night.
Amazing:
I just lost all hope of ever getting another boner for as long as I live.
What is wrong with that picture? Let's see, maybe because the girl who my friend told me about is a 12 year old skankasaurus who has nothing better to do than fake she can snowboard to pull tricks off guys who are older than her.
Or as my buddy was hear saying "she macks at valley! shit, how much?"
Don't bother taking him seriously, seriously. I almost feel sorry for the people who are being (nearly) raped by a 12 year old. I'm not so sure about you, but prepubescent pussy just doesn't really do it for me. Or as my gym teacher told me, "Even when I watch kinball, it just; well I guess it just doesn't really turn me on".
And I'm not fucking joking.
In News:
I've had a number of complaints that while reading politics you can't scroll down all the way to the bottom of the page.
I looked into the problem and it doesn't seem to be a problem with our HTML but rather the way some blogger templates are set up. Regardless, I'll try to see if it can be fixed but in the mean time we're proposing a temporary solution:
When you're on the site, hold down the control button on your keyboard and spin the scroll whell on your mouse up and down. The action you're performing is actually used for readjusting the text size of the page. (it works in Internet Explorer, Microsoft applications like Word, etc.) But by doing so you should be "loading" the rest of the page. If it doesn't work or you need better instructions, please let us know by using the following link:
politics
Thanks for your dropping by,
Webmaster.
Amazing:
I just lost all hope of ever getting another boner for as long as I live.
What is wrong with that picture? Let's see, maybe because the girl who my friend told me about is a 12 year old skankasaurus who has nothing better to do than fake she can snowboard to pull tricks off guys who are older than her.
Or as my buddy was hear saying "she macks at valley! shit, how much?"
Don't bother taking him seriously, seriously. I almost feel sorry for the people who are being (nearly) raped by a 12 year old. I'm not so sure about you, but prepubescent pussy just doesn't really do it for me. Or as my gym teacher told me, "Even when I watch kinball, it just; well I guess it just doesn't really turn me on".
And I'm not fucking joking.
In News:
I've had a number of complaints that while reading politics you can't scroll down all the way to the bottom of the page.
I looked into the problem and it doesn't seem to be a problem with our HTML but rather the way some blogger templates are set up. Regardless, I'll try to see if it can be fixed but in the mean time we're proposing a temporary solution:
When you're on the site, hold down the control button on your keyboard and spin the scroll whell on your mouse up and down. The action you're performing is actually used for readjusting the text size of the page. (it works in Internet Explorer, Microsoft applications like Word, etc.) But by doing so you should be "loading" the rest of the page. If it doesn't work or you need better instructions, please let us know by using the following link:
Thanks for your dropping by,
Webmaster.
Friday, January 09, 2004
On a Scale of One to Superlative...
And now, a politics "political moment":
"The business of the business has no business in my business!!! Word" - Grady aka my nipple burning buddy.
Insightful?
Yes.
Dimensional?
Certainly.
Clever, with a witty comment on post-modern small business corporations attempting to export well made, genuinely hand-crafted rap singles to East India?
Well, no.
Nonetheless, I think this quote shows us about how the depletion of our grain resources has pitted small farmers against each other in the struggle to find a solution to word famine through organically grown food products.
And that my friends is something we can ALL agree on.
And now, an exerpt from the autobiography of Herman J. Lewis:
I was once frozen in ice for 5000 years, and when I awoke, the world had changed. The Spice Girls owned a popular late night science fiction sex romp, and Dick Tracy was still married to Charlie Chapman. Scientists had discovered a cure for the French, oh and milk that curdles. Yes, ska still existed. Even though I was under the impression that it went out with the letter R. Unfortunately, my greatest fear was still (for those of you who were put through the agony of trying to read "Lyddie") Moral turpitude. To add, Apple juice tasted inter-galactitacular. Although there were warning signs all over the bottle, but I knew better than that. I knew all along the government was only using apple juice as an ice portal, to reform the ice age from scratch. It would have worked too, but thank God there was a shortage of wooley mammoths at the time of Jesus' brother, Hansez. Nihilists still existed at this time, but in much larger quantities and the modern day preachers sold emails out on the street corner for 5 cents a piece. Naturally people were so addicted to chain mail by this time that they were willing to pay the price.
God do I ever hate chain mail.
"The business of the business has no business in my business!!! Word" - Grady aka my nipple burning buddy.
Insightful?
Yes.
Dimensional?
Certainly.
Clever, with a witty comment on post-modern small business corporations attempting to export well made, genuinely hand-crafted rap singles to East India?
Well, no.
Nonetheless, I think this quote shows us about how the depletion of our grain resources has pitted small farmers against each other in the struggle to find a solution to word famine through organically grown food products.
And that my friends is something we can ALL agree on.
And now, an exerpt from the autobiography of Herman J. Lewis:
I was once frozen in ice for 5000 years, and when I awoke, the world had changed. The Spice Girls owned a popular late night science fiction sex romp, and Dick Tracy was still married to Charlie Chapman. Scientists had discovered a cure for the French, oh and milk that curdles. Yes, ska still existed. Even though I was under the impression that it went out with the letter R. Unfortunately, my greatest fear was still (for those of you who were put through the agony of trying to read "Lyddie") Moral turpitude. To add, Apple juice tasted inter-galactitacular. Although there were warning signs all over the bottle, but I knew better than that. I knew all along the government was only using apple juice as an ice portal, to reform the ice age from scratch. It would have worked too, but thank God there was a shortage of wooley mammoths at the time of Jesus' brother, Hansez. Nihilists still existed at this time, but in much larger quantities and the modern day preachers sold emails out on the street corner for 5 cents a piece. Naturally people were so addicted to chain mail by this time that they were willing to pay the price.
God do I ever hate chain mail.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Unhumerous broken Heart
This just in!
Between singing opera as an "AMERICAN CITIZEN" and scratching his mild case of hemorrhoids everybodys favorite member of the O'Carreigh clan routinely takes a break from the hardships of searching maddox's site to break for internet porn.
Please, let me explain. You see, I was talking with the guy online and decided it was probably necessary to screw with him. So I took a classic approach with a new twist. I asked him if he thought it would be OK with him if I started posting a "porno of the day" on the page. Carr was baffled as to why I would want to do such a thing so i pitched him something along the lines of "I think we should take an edgier approach". His response was abrupt, "Dude, the girl I like reads this site!" To which I replied, "Really, me too. But Courtney would probably just laugh". (And no, fuck that, I'm not willing to try it out to see what might happen, she means to much to me, Carr). Kudos to Carr for looking out for his girl. Strip Carr of that kudos for then saying that if there were a small picture on the site - I told him "small" would be "mayb about 700 x 500" - we'd be implying that "we" masterbate to internet porn.
Hmmm....
Gee bud, I'm not so sure about you, but with that having been said, maybe the girl you like will remain a frequent visitor to politics?
I too have a monitor confessional to make Carr. By following a few simple steps on blogpoll the HTML is Provided For You.
Anyhow, send some mail our way, because we do have a full 2MB of storage. No, I did not spring for the chance to have the full 20. Hotmail is free, free is hotmail, free is also Aidan.
Between singing opera as an "AMERICAN CITIZEN" and scratching his mild case of hemorrhoids everybodys favorite member of the O'Carreigh clan routinely takes a break from the hardships of searching maddox's site to break for internet porn.
Please, let me explain. You see, I was talking with the guy online and decided it was probably necessary to screw with him. So I took a classic approach with a new twist. I asked him if he thought it would be OK with him if I started posting a "porno of the day" on the page. Carr was baffled as to why I would want to do such a thing so i pitched him something along the lines of "I think we should take an edgier approach". His response was abrupt, "Dude, the girl I like reads this site!" To which I replied, "Really, me too. But Courtney would probably just laugh". (And no, fuck that, I'm not willing to try it out to see what might happen, she means to much to me, Carr). Kudos to Carr for looking out for his girl. Strip Carr of that kudos for then saying that if there were a small picture on the site - I told him "small" would be "mayb about 700 x 500" - we'd be implying that "we" masterbate to internet porn.
Hmmm....
Gee bud, I'm not so sure about you, but with that having been said, maybe the girl you like will remain a frequent visitor to politics?
I too have a monitor confessional to make Carr. By following a few simple steps on blogpoll the HTML is Provided For You.
Anyhow, send some mail our way, because we do have a full 2MB of storage. No, I did not spring for the chance to have the full 20. Hotmail is free, free is hotmail, free is also Aidan.
The Accomplishments of Man
I was reading through our Guinness Book with Aidan earlier today when a few entries caught our eye.
Here they are:
"US opera singer Brendan Carr was 15 years old when she sang the role of Guilda in "Verdes' Rigoleto".
"Zamfir was only 4 when he could play pan flute well".
"Zamfir was only 9 when he could play pan flute very well".
"The average toddler laughs 400 times a day, whereas the average adult laughs 15 times a day, whereas the average Aidan (J.H. or Huggins) laughs 6000 thousand times a day (and has an average of 6 seizures).
Here they are:
"US opera singer Brendan Carr was 15 years old when she sang the role of Guilda in "Verdes' Rigoleto".
"Zamfir was only 4 when he could play pan flute well".
"Zamfir was only 9 when he could play pan flute very well".
"The average toddler laughs 400 times a day, whereas the average adult laughs 15 times a day, whereas the average Aidan (J.H. or Huggins) laughs 6000 thousand times a day (and has an average of 6 seizures).
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
WIT
"Shut thee fuckup!" - German Nihilists from Lebowski.
And with that out of the way I guess I'd better get started. It's already pretty late (9:13; And without my afternoon nap- I'm used to napping in the afternoon - This 80 year old is down for the night).
So there I was (almost all the shit I spew out starts with that nowdays) but I was there. Maybe I should let you know that "there" was at the kitchen table around 11:00 last night after having read an excruciating 40 pages of The Odyssey. Afterwards, I found myself reading Alberta Views, A much lighter plate for my literary stomach. Anways, Views had published an entire issue on the school system and somehow an article that was by some pussy had snuck into print. "Fred Stenson" took up an entire page, five fuckin' columns, on how he wanted to help his daughter with and essay she has been given as an assignment. The work was a typical grade 9 whore-handout. She was to write about something like "why it's good to talk with seniors". Sounds simple enough sure, in fact the guy mentions he looked at her brainstorm which happens to be an integral part of the process if one hopes to demonstrate their wit and meteorological assesments. The asshole writer went on to mention some bullshit about how "gee, I didn't know we shared the same views". Great, Fuck You. That's not relevant dumbass! You're talking about how essays have changed since you were pissing your bed at night, not how you think your views differ from the younger generations. Regardlessly, they do. And I just proved it.
Anyhow, the author (if I can even give him that much credit) went on to state that he tried to help his daughter with her essay, but guidelines had changed too much and he wasn't used to all these changes. Ie. Having a set number of supporting details. He also managed to squeeze an argument out of the fact that the sheet said "use bright language, adverbs, adjectives, etc." He found it necessary to state that he asked his daughter, "Why all the description?" Why? I'll tell you why, because people don't like to read something as dry as chicken that's been microwaved 5 times. Pussy doesn't want description with his essay? Oh, well that's just too fucking bad!
Obviously this guy likes to read writing like his own: without argument, and therefore without reason. Which brings me to my next point. My good pal "Fred" also told his daughter that it was ridiculous to have transitions at the start of paragraphs. Unbelievable. Is it that I've missed something or that having a relationship between two paragraphs suddenly became uncool? Regardless, he put italics around every word that he used as a transition. Words like "henceforth" and "regardless" were standing out from the rest of the page. Why? What purpose did this serve? I assume he was trying to point out how redundant the words were, and in such a case, he failed miserably because by using them at the start of his paragraphs, the essay had fluency. As the writing grew long, and terribly boring, "Fred" went on to mention that essays used to have the power to change the way people lived and Jonathan Swift's, "A Modest Proposal" is his idea of a well crafted essay. It was his prime example.
It was published in 1729!
There are good reasons that the system has changed. Essays are now supposed to be written properly, and guidelines are there to establish succes for the writer. For those of you who aren't familiar with Swift's paper, he elaborated a theory on why the higher classes should eat Irish children to reduce the number of poor, and in turn, right the economy.
I'm beginning to see why the essay format had to be reworked.
Notes on the text : All the quotes herein are the property of "Alberta Views, Jan/Feb 2004" and under no circumstances does the aforementioned allow what is used as reference in my article to republished or redistributed without their prior consent.
And with that out of the way I guess I'd better get started. It's already pretty late (9:13; And without my afternoon nap- I'm used to napping in the afternoon - This 80 year old is down for the night).
So there I was (almost all the shit I spew out starts with that nowdays) but I was there. Maybe I should let you know that "there" was at the kitchen table around 11:00 last night after having read an excruciating 40 pages of The Odyssey. Afterwards, I found myself reading Alberta Views, A much lighter plate for my literary stomach. Anways, Views had published an entire issue on the school system and somehow an article that was by some pussy had snuck into print. "Fred Stenson" took up an entire page, five fuckin' columns, on how he wanted to help his daughter with and essay she has been given as an assignment. The work was a typical grade 9 whore-handout. She was to write about something like "why it's good to talk with seniors". Sounds simple enough sure, in fact the guy mentions he looked at her brainstorm which happens to be an integral part of the process if one hopes to demonstrate their wit and meteorological assesments. The asshole writer went on to mention some bullshit about how "gee, I didn't know we shared the same views". Great, Fuck You. That's not relevant dumbass! You're talking about how essays have changed since you were pissing your bed at night, not how you think your views differ from the younger generations. Regardlessly, they do. And I just proved it.
Anyhow, the author (if I can even give him that much credit) went on to state that he tried to help his daughter with her essay, but guidelines had changed too much and he wasn't used to all these changes. Ie. Having a set number of supporting details. He also managed to squeeze an argument out of the fact that the sheet said "use bright language, adverbs, adjectives, etc." He found it necessary to state that he asked his daughter, "Why all the description?" Why? I'll tell you why, because people don't like to read something as dry as chicken that's been microwaved 5 times. Pussy doesn't want description with his essay? Oh, well that's just too fucking bad!
Obviously this guy likes to read writing like his own: without argument, and therefore without reason. Which brings me to my next point. My good pal "Fred" also told his daughter that it was ridiculous to have transitions at the start of paragraphs. Unbelievable. Is it that I've missed something or that having a relationship between two paragraphs suddenly became uncool? Regardless, he put italics around every word that he used as a transition. Words like "henceforth" and "regardless" were standing out from the rest of the page. Why? What purpose did this serve? I assume he was trying to point out how redundant the words were, and in such a case, he failed miserably because by using them at the start of his paragraphs, the essay had fluency. As the writing grew long, and terribly boring, "Fred" went on to mention that essays used to have the power to change the way people lived and Jonathan Swift's, "A Modest Proposal" is his idea of a well crafted essay. It was his prime example.
It was published in 1729!
There are good reasons that the system has changed. Essays are now supposed to be written properly, and guidelines are there to establish succes for the writer. For those of you who aren't familiar with Swift's paper, he elaborated a theory on why the higher classes should eat Irish children to reduce the number of poor, and in turn, right the economy.
I'm beginning to see why the essay format had to be reworked.
Notes on the text : All the quotes herein are the property of "Alberta Views, Jan/Feb 2004" and under no circumstances does the aforementioned allow what is used as reference in my article to republished or redistributed without their prior consent.
Monday, January 05, 2004
Here WE Go Again!...
Well, here we go again.
What I mean of course is that we're back at school after the break and I hope you're all appreciating getting less sleep. Oh and refer to my post from January 1rst in order to fulfill your duties as a spleen appreciating Canadian. Don't forget that the celebrations are over on the 7th and you'll all have to find something else to celebrate. (Something other than celebacy or Ellen DeGeneres).
In News:
The first poll is up, and there has been a record setting(/breaking) 6 people who have voted! Congratulations to myself for thinking up such a stimulating question. (Yes, I know stimulating isn't the word I want here, but regardless as to what you all think, I'm not about to change it because I can't think of anything else that makes sense). In other words, 6 people is pretty pathetic considering over the holidays we averaged something like 17 hits a day.
I just want to mention right here and before I forget that the site search (located next to the google search button. Change the place of the dot, by clicking your mouse. It's not rocket scienceis now working.
Otherwise, O'Carreigh Carr and myself are both searching for something interesting to write about. (And yes, I am still voting Gore in oh-four and no, that won't make something interesting to write about). In other news, the format of the headers was fixed and the font sizes on the sidebar should all be (close to) the same. Also, if you haven't already noticed that we have our own email now, you can reach it by heading to the lower left corner of the sidebar. Against my most peppered dreams, we've actually received to date: 2 emails. Nothing short of amazing for politics. (Oh, I'm not about to forget that those two emails weren't hate).
(And like a wiser man then me once said) "Thanks for stopping by, oh and don't forget to tip on your way."
Today in History
Circa 1988 : Don King's hair declared National Monument.
What I mean of course is that we're back at school after the break and I hope you're all appreciating getting less sleep. Oh and refer to my post from January 1rst in order to fulfill your duties as a spleen appreciating Canadian. Don't forget that the celebrations are over on the 7th and you'll all have to find something else to celebrate. (Something other than celebacy or Ellen DeGeneres).
In News:
The first poll is up, and there has been a record setting(/breaking) 6 people who have voted! Congratulations to myself for thinking up such a stimulating question. (Yes, I know stimulating isn't the word I want here, but regardless as to what you all think, I'm not about to change it because I can't think of anything else that makes sense). In other words, 6 people is pretty pathetic considering over the holidays we averaged something like 17 hits a day.
I just want to mention right here and before I forget that the site search (located next to the google search button. Change the place of the dot, by clicking your mouse. It's not rocket scienceis now working.
Otherwise, O'Carreigh Carr and myself are both searching for something interesting to write about. (And yes, I am still voting Gore in oh-four and no, that won't make something interesting to write about). In other news, the format of the headers was fixed and the font sizes on the sidebar should all be (close to) the same. Also, if you haven't already noticed that we have our own email now, you can reach it by heading to the lower left corner of the sidebar. Against my most peppered dreams, we've actually received to date: 2 emails. Nothing short of amazing for politics. (Oh, I'm not about to forget that those two emails weren't hate).
(And like a wiser man then me once said) "Thanks for stopping by, oh and don't forget to tip on your way."
Today in History
Circa 1988 : Don King's hair declared National Monument.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Tax Me I’m Canadian
When, in the late 19th century, German Chancellor Otto von Bismarck came up with the idea of the welfare state, he had no intention of protecting the interests of Liberal government-must-run-everything-it-does-right-now supporters. The welfare state principles were simple, they defended old-age pension programs and support for the needy. Welfare.
And now with the privatization of the liquor sector, the Alberta government has let small business owners thrive.
Recently I was out at 7-11 and I read on a zoning development sign that there would be zoning for a "Small Liquor Sales Outlet" in between Klondike and the sev. Wow. That's what we need, another liquor store within 50 metres of another. Yet, if a privately owned store is opening, it can only mean one thing: small business pulls through again.
Immediately after privatization occured in Calgary, there were 24 liquor stores, today there are 201 (Source: Frontier Centre for Public Policy, October 20th 2003). Now, let's not deny the obvious. There are more liquor stores because the city has grown since privatization, yet, let us also not overlook the fact that there are 8 times as many stores as before. Liquor sales have also skyrocketed in Alberta. Pre-Privatization sales were around 402$ million, whereas afterwards: 545$ million.
In B.C., a key point opposing the privatization of liquor was that the government owned stores would lose money. No way. The government stores would continue to monopolize the market, creating a lack of work for any small business owners attempting to earn a small fortune. (Note to self, don't use 0 to call collect; could save small fortune). Refer to the liquor sales in Alberta mentioned above. Furthermore, crime offences at Calgary liquor stores went down 32%, but counter robberies are up. Analysts assume this pattern shifted because stores are now permitted to stay open until 2:00 AM. (Source: Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commision, Statistics Canada, Westridge Marketing Services)
In Manitoba, we find yet another reason against Government owned liquor stores. The presence of these stores, backed by millions of dollars in funding, (ie the import of products), offer now chances for a private business owner to start his own life. Congratulations on regulating the economy Manitoba. This has also prompted Nova Scotia into considering a reform of the liquor program and to privatize the system. (Source: Any idiot who has read a paper lately). Yet another point for the small business owner.
Today in History:
Circa 00 A.D. : Fourth wiseman arrives at stable, misses the whole thing.
Tomorrow: Spleen Appreciation Week Begins
And now with the privatization of the liquor sector, the Alberta government has let small business owners thrive.
Recently I was out at 7-11 and I read on a zoning development sign that there would be zoning for a "Small Liquor Sales Outlet" in between Klondike and the sev. Wow. That's what we need, another liquor store within 50 metres of another. Yet, if a privately owned store is opening, it can only mean one thing: small business pulls through again.
Immediately after privatization occured in Calgary, there were 24 liquor stores, today there are 201 (Source: Frontier Centre for Public Policy, October 20th 2003). Now, let's not deny the obvious. There are more liquor stores because the city has grown since privatization, yet, let us also not overlook the fact that there are 8 times as many stores as before. Liquor sales have also skyrocketed in Alberta. Pre-Privatization sales were around 402$ million, whereas afterwards: 545$ million.
In B.C., a key point opposing the privatization of liquor was that the government owned stores would lose money. No way. The government stores would continue to monopolize the market, creating a lack of work for any small business owners attempting to earn a small fortune. (Note to self, don't use 0 to call collect; could save small fortune). Refer to the liquor sales in Alberta mentioned above. Furthermore, crime offences at Calgary liquor stores went down 32%, but counter robberies are up. Analysts assume this pattern shifted because stores are now permitted to stay open until 2:00 AM. (Source: Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commision, Statistics Canada, Westridge Marketing Services)
In Manitoba, we find yet another reason against Government owned liquor stores. The presence of these stores, backed by millions of dollars in funding, (ie the import of products), offer now chances for a private business owner to start his own life. Congratulations on regulating the economy Manitoba. This has also prompted Nova Scotia into considering a reform of the liquor program and to privatize the system. (Source: Any idiot who has read a paper lately). Yet another point for the small business owner.
Today in History:
Circa 00 A.D. : Fourth wiseman arrives at stable, misses the whole thing.
Tomorrow: Spleen Appreciation Week Begins
Craptacular
Thanks to O'Carreigh for the enlightenment, surely his tribe will be up all night trying to decipher these ancient HTML (no, not "hotmail", Aidan) ruins. So then what is soon to be nouveau? I guess your imagination must play a larger part than my corner of the web. So go ahead, dream up what you will, and call that invention hotline that runs commercials during Bob Barker's The Price Is Right. (The Examiner says - "Bob Barker and Rod Roddie's televised sex romp" soon to be made legal in Latvia!) After all, what good is an idea without a patent (by the way, that phrase is patent pending. The possibilities for quoting me have gone through the floor boards into Grandad's cellar where the chicken feet are tightly sealed in glass jars full of preservatives). Regardless as to what was said before here, my new year's eve passed uneventfully. And although I was not as rigid and uptight as my counterpart, Carr, I was still left with the unhappiness of missing the one true person who I actually wanted to spend the last seconds of 2003 with.
Long story short with clever blurbs omitted, I ended up at the same place I always do: at home with the wurrr of my furnace heating up my cold basement. Mind you that one of the fireworks nearly hit a kid who was watching from the rink, and I did put off doing anything physical for the entire night (except that walk to 7-11; should have bought a slurpee... regrets, regrets...)
To-do for the year 2004
-Settle down and start a family
-Consider an early retirement
-Bake cookies
-Vote Gore in '04 (say "oh-four" for the full effect)
-Discover the Mississippi
And so it begins...
Long story short with clever blurbs omitted, I ended up at the same place I always do: at home with the wurrr of my furnace heating up my cold basement. Mind you that one of the fireworks nearly hit a kid who was watching from the rink, and I did put off doing anything physical for the entire night (except that walk to 7-11; should have bought a slurpee... regrets, regrets...)
To-do for the year 2004
-Settle down and start a family
-Consider an early retirement
-Bake cookies
-Vote Gore in '04 (say "oh-four" for the full effect)
-Discover the Mississippi
And so it begins...
