Tuesday, October 28, 2003
What? No helmet?
How is it that even though our continents economy can be so strong, yet interest rates can be so painfully low?
Recently I had the liberty of seeing a commercial for what I remember to be Scotiabank, (believe me, it might just as well have been for some electronics dump in Hong Kong). The problem being that their now "killer" ad idea was to provoke us into letting them hold our money because after all, their interest rates are higher than their competitors. Yes that's right, transfer your money now, because you'll be earning 2.75% compound annually.
When is it that those bastards will learn that anywhere between 1 and 7some percent was nothing 50 years ago and still amounts to no more than 27 cents every month today. Sure, I mean as a kid it still had a positive side to it: "I'm thankful for the good people at Scotiabank because with an extra 27 cents each month I'll have just enough to buy the stocks I plan to sell after I've lost the rest of my money grandpa gave me!" And let's not forget, 0.27$ is just a number, and large as it may be, there's always the chance that next month interest goes up, (don't worry; I'm really only joking) and you start earning 0.33$ each month!
Now let's be brutally honest for a moment here. Question: "If I were to put my money in a shoebox filled with old baseball cards and porno's, duct tape the lid shut and shove it under my bed (in between that pair of pants that aren't cool anymore and my stuffed animals that are also no longer cool) would there be more money next time I opened the box?" the answer to this question every 12 year old has asked themselves comes back unvaryingly: yes.
As it should be clear now, the shoebox, assuming you once bought converse hi-tops could become a collector's item. Oh and let's not forget those baseball cards. Fat balding white men will always be interested in a game where managing to hit a ball with a wooden stick changes the amount someone can get paid. Oh, if we could only begin to wonder the questions which they might be asking themselves... "If only I could become Jose Canseco('s bat)... I'd run away and sell myself on the Antique's Roadshow the year he dies". As for those of you who seem to be confused as to the profitability of this action, maybe it's time to recall that back.. back... well when isn't really the point. The point is that once McGwire's record-breaking ball (he hit a few home runs one season) was sold for a couple million.
Back on topic, who knows what advanced societies millions of years from now will think when they uncover from the rubble (presuming that people will die in blasts in the future - thank you a-bomb), of your once house, a pandora's box holding the clues to the past?
Believe it or not, this won't change much. Millions of years from now interest will still be the same bullshit it is today.
Recently I had the liberty of seeing a commercial for what I remember to be Scotiabank, (believe me, it might just as well have been for some electronics dump in Hong Kong). The problem being that their now "killer" ad idea was to provoke us into letting them hold our money because after all, their interest rates are higher than their competitors. Yes that's right, transfer your money now, because you'll be earning 2.75% compound annually.
When is it that those bastards will learn that anywhere between 1 and 7some percent was nothing 50 years ago and still amounts to no more than 27 cents every month today. Sure, I mean as a kid it still had a positive side to it: "I'm thankful for the good people at Scotiabank because with an extra 27 cents each month I'll have just enough to buy the stocks I plan to sell after I've lost the rest of my money grandpa gave me!" And let's not forget, 0.27$ is just a number, and large as it may be, there's always the chance that next month interest goes up, (don't worry; I'm really only joking) and you start earning 0.33$ each month!
Now let's be brutally honest for a moment here. Question: "If I were to put my money in a shoebox filled with old baseball cards and porno's, duct tape the lid shut and shove it under my bed (in between that pair of pants that aren't cool anymore and my stuffed animals that are also no longer cool) would there be more money next time I opened the box?" the answer to this question every 12 year old has asked themselves comes back unvaryingly: yes.
As it should be clear now, the shoebox, assuming you once bought converse hi-tops could become a collector's item. Oh and let's not forget those baseball cards. Fat balding white men will always be interested in a game where managing to hit a ball with a wooden stick changes the amount someone can get paid. Oh, if we could only begin to wonder the questions which they might be asking themselves... "If only I could become Jose Canseco('s bat)... I'd run away and sell myself on the Antique's Roadshow the year he dies". As for those of you who seem to be confused as to the profitability of this action, maybe it's time to recall that back.. back... well when isn't really the point. The point is that once McGwire's record-breaking ball (he hit a few home runs one season) was sold for a couple million.
Back on topic, who knows what advanced societies millions of years from now will think when they uncover from the rubble (presuming that people will die in blasts in the future - thank you a-bomb), of your once house, a pandora's box holding the clues to the past?
Believe it or not, this won't change much. Millions of years from now interest will still be the same bullshit it is today.
