Politics of the Business

People are imbeciles. During the course of my average day I have at least 3 hypocrites ask me about a problem not even worth solving, 2 idiots who want to know who I like, and at least 8 facists who have something against my beliefs, something they heard i did from their friend (who heard from their younger brother's friends older sister), or generally, the way I live my life. Although this may sound like quite a parade of the absurb, every group I've sterotyped here has something in common: none of them can think for themselves. But oh no, let me guess, I'm the hypocrite now, right? Because after all, someone who promotes the idea of group activity but then tells people to think for themselves must be confused... or more likely, misunderstood. What is left to say but make your own decisions and base your own opinions on what you believe is right? (Kids, the key word here is "own"). I'm sick of everyone I know believing I, or one of my friends has done something; (something always bordering on unbelievable) and having to tell their friends before verifying the truth in the story they've heard. Take a moment out of your obviously busy day to help the victim out. Ask a question, learn a lot.

What ever happened to youth conformity?
A word that many of us who spend our free moments online wouldn't understand. The reason being there is nothing conform about shutting yourself off from the world for a score of minutes in order to check email. Or rather check how many new ways you can save money on car insurance or spend it on Japanese porn. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Japanese, it's just that web developers have stereotyped them as being a race full of naughty school girls whom middle-aged men would love to spend their time watching. For those of us who are drunk on what were sipping, let's take a moment to ponder the following comment. People who want others to be impressed with their habits should at least make the effort to do it in a group. Not that I'm out there promoting anything, in fact, quite the opposite, but to many of us conformity has been long forgotten. And in my opinion, should be given a chance to climb its way up our ladder of everyday priorities.

This just in! www.stickdeath.com is wreaking havoc in the homes of seemingly innocent youths!

(Any votes on your favorite stickdeath clip? Mine is in for the original hunter)

Thank God for people like Rob Lewis, he spends his fore-pubescent years killing off stick men in varying ways. A laugh, yes. The wrong lesson? No.

Spare me your favoritism of censorship, the internet allows the best judgement of people to be brought out, it's truly a shame when people use this tool in all the wrong ways. Leave your anger and unhappiness at my front door, surely I do not need it in my repainted bathroom. (We all know what anger does to a fresh coat of primer!). The fact of the matter is that kids have access to it all, porn, prostitution, drugs, alcohol, you name it you can get a hold of it. Locking them up at home is no longer an option, it's a stereotype, and a vastly used one too. When my parents were younger, as I'm sure all ours were at one point or another, they spent their summers running about with their friends, (dare I speak it...) UNSUPERVISED! The only point when their parents would see them would be for brief periods at the breakfast table before running out the door for work, and possibly later at night. Oh, and let's not forgot days that it rained.

Yes, gasp all you want now parents of varying backgrounds, but the reality of our new century gives the green light to the oppresion of your kids. Monitor their internet use, bug their phones, get the number of where they'll be, smell their breath after a late night, pull them over for a check-stop here and there.. But most importantly, steal from them their personal space.

After all, who needs to breathe anyways?

And then it hit, a pain in the throat which could only mean one thing : your sick, sucker! And how bad it is, yet true, kids get sick in the summer. But after all doesn't that happen to other people? Unfortunately, everyone has to do there part in playing the role of "other people". I like to think I'm pinch hitting, and taking one for the team. It's a dirty job, but someones gotta do it. Although, the problem still stands : the imune system blows. Out of all the 16 (or is it 17?) systems the human - (god bless) body has, old imune here is about to take a beating. Interesting point : travellers to Mexico can not drink the local water, but locals can. Now that's a system! Anyways, back to reality with the next point, sick students never have much of a chance at staying home no matter how black their lung may be. Yet summer, as excellent as it may be, pitchs us a problem : Why must our shitty system take away from our enjoyment of vacation? My solution : the time bank. Ah yes, although it may seem farfetched now, soon it shall be in the homes of all Americans (kind of like that microwave fad but without all the radiation). The general idea is as follows; any moment a student feels the least bit faint during summer vacation (hell, let's say during the school year and weekends too), he or she, regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, political status, employment, boxers/briefs, etc., may allot the time of illness and use it to freely avoid school during the next few years. An overdose and a shot from the 151 proof bottle is all your parents will need, feel free to try this one out at home, kids!

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